This column is being put up with the aim of helping parents, students  and the school community deal with various issues (such as bullying, peer pressure, academic failure, self-esteem, etc.) that adolescents may face at some point in their lives.

 The adolescent years are like being on a roller coaster ride in full speed which seems to go up and down, filled with excitement and fear, and curiosity of what is next?  Parents find this time of their children’s lives the most challenging because they have to find a balance between telling their children what to do and giving them the opportunity to find answers to new and puzzling issues.  As parents you want to protect your children from harm and yet know that they need to learn from their own experiences as well.

Parental support is a key building block to helping your children succeed. Children are more likely to grow up healthy and to become successful when their parents provide them with high levels of love and support. Positive appraisal ensures that children grow up believing in themselves and respecting others.  


1. Mental development is an important aspect of personal development.
You can help stimulate your children's mental development by engaging them in healthy debates. A healthy debate is NOT an argument!
The purpose of a debate is to clarify uncertainty. When you engage your children in this type of healthy exercise, you help develop the whole person, both mentally and personally.

2. Teach your children the difference between discipline and punishment.
Punishment is negative consequences resulting from bad or wrong choices.
Discipline, however, is positive training resulting in strong character. Through discipline we train our children to be self-reliant. Effective discipline harvests a strong person who becomes prepared to meet the tests of life.

3. Show your kids that you care by providing them space to think, to rest, and to rejuvenate. As parents, we enjoy our "space" so that we can feel refreshed. Children need that "space" too!

4. "It is easy for every man, whatever his character with others, to find reasons for esteeming himself" - Samuel Johnson
Self-esteem is to like yourself, and to feel good about yourself.  Your own self- esteem will reflect in your teenager.

5. Surprise your kids by catching them being, or doing, something good. Praise them and say, "I love you." This will encourage your children to act in positive ways.

6. Always hear what your child has to say before you judge the importance.
A situation we adults may think is meaningless or unimportant, may be exactly the opposite to a child. If we model how WE listen, children are more likely to do the same.


7. Try letting your kids have a voice in some of the decision making when it concerns choices for them. They will feel like a more responsible and respected member of the family. It will help them understand the decision making process so they can learn to make the right choices inside and outside of the home.

8. One of the most effective things you can do for your teenager is to simply "be there.”. Children need to feel confident that they are a top priority in their parent's lives. Giving them your undivided attention reassures them of this.

9. Respect is mutual. Respect your teenager as the individual they are. This is the best way to earn their respect in return.

10. Empower them to make good choices for themselves by talking frankly about the dangers of substances be it drugs, cigarettes, alcohol or even risky behaviour.  Set a healthy example.

Mrs. L. Tulsidas
School Counsellor
March. 2010.